myperformancereviewsucked.com

www.lamebook.com

from www.lamebook.com

This guy clearly wasn’t liked by his employees.

I managed to slip this into a recent performance review. No-one has noticed yet.

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I got this email of a conversation that went on someone’s facebook wall. Clearly her performance review didn’t go that well

Hmmmm… I do the same job as another person in the business looking after our channel partners. I always suspected there was a bunch of copying and pasting going on between our appraisals by my boss, and here is the evidence:

See if you can guess what my equivalent’s name is… I’m pretty sure that first sentence should read: “All the quarterly planning events with the channel partners” 

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Some of us have learned to keep these things to ourselves (or at least whine in private!) Looks like this is a good way to earn an impromptu performance review however…

I went into my managers office because I never was invited to chat with her about my 2009 performance and I wanted to see what was up. I was asked to work on a couple of high profile accounts and thought I had really stepped up. She let me know that no bonuses or raises were going to be given out this year if that was what I was looking for and they weren’t doing performance reviews… WTF?!
A) I wasn’t coming in with my hand out, I wanted to know how I did and what I might be working on in the coming year…
B) I know that times are tough and we had to let some people go but that doesn’t mean you have to be an a-hole! There are a bunch of people still here and you have to address us for the work we did! The company may be in bad shape, but it would be a hell of a lot worse if the people still here weren’t busting our ass.
Thanks for nothing

UMA: Last year that process gave me ‘excellent’. This year just ‘average’? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?

Big Boss: That’s a complicated process. You don’t want to hear.

UMA: I’ll try to understand. Go ahead.

Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets ‘average’, whichever lands on table gets ‘good’, whichever we manage to catch gets ‘excellent’ and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets ‘outstanding’.

UMA: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets ‘poor’ rating?

Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.

UMA: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for ‘outstanding’?

Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!

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