“Adapts to change well”
What they really meant:Hopefully… is about to be fired.
“Works well under pressure”
What they really meant:Only starts anything the day before the deadline
“Maintains a positive attitude when under stress”
What they really meant:Ambivalent
“Is a good corporate citizen”
What they really meant:Doesn’t question me
“Is an active listener”
What they really meant:Takes out one iPod headphone when I ask them something
“Can be depended on”
What they really meant:Has few other interests outside of work
“Manages time well”
What they really meant:Has a light workload
“Seeks out responsibility”
What they really meant:Megalomaniac. Sort of like Napoleon.
“Pays attention to details”
What they really meant:Anally retentive
“Constantly seeks professional development opportunities”
What they really meant:Needy

